“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

— Acts 1:8

They walked from the transfiguration to the cross, from the cross to the grave, from the grave to the empty tomb, and now they stand watching Jesus ascend. I don’t know; I bet they thought they had seen some things. I bet they thought they were ready for the power of the Holy Spirit.

I have been thinking about my own years in ministry lately. I have seen some things too, things that don’t make logical sense. I’ve seen people healed without explanation while awaiting surgery. I’ve seen people who lost their lives for no reason I can understand. I have held newborn babies and the hands of those breathing their last. I have watched the eyes of young people light up when they realize that Jesus’ love is for them too, not just for churchy people, and I have seen people leave congregations with broken hearts and angry words.

I have some experience with this roller coaster ride we call the Holy Spirit. I have felt the nudge to wake up and pray, to call someone whose name suddenly came to mind for no clear reason. I have watched hard hearts soften over time. I know the Holy Spirit works. I know the Spirit moves. I also know the Holy Spirit is completely beyond my control.

I find it fascinating that the disciples are promised power when the Holy Spirit comes upon them. I wonder if they imagined it would simply be more of what they had already known with Jesus: healings and parables, confrontations and teachings. I am sure life with Jesus wasn’t predictable, but still, it must have been familiar, but living in the power of the Holy Spirit turns out to be something altogether different. Following Jesus probably felt manageable, like passing a consent agenda at annual conference compared to what came next. Even after all they had seen, they still were not prepared.

It may have been the difference between eighth grade and graduate school. It may have been the difference between a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a kouign-amann. Despite all I have seen and experienced, nothing has really prepared me for the moments when the Holy Spirit shows up and shows out. The power of the Spirit is uncontrollable and uncontainable and completely unpredictable. Truthfully, no matter how much I pray or prepare, I am never fully prepared for the Holy Spirit.

Beloved, as we inch closer to Pentecost, may God surprise you and ground you and hold you. May you find joy in all the ways God’s love comes to you and through you.